I have reduced my blogging to 1-2 times per week and haven’t really explained why and that kinda bothers me. Hopefully this will explain my lack of daily blogging.
You see, I have long been motivated by the need to produce something tangible with my creativity; an indicator of being OK. “Look at me, look at what I made, look at how good I am, like a five year old wanting the attention of adults.”*
Let me explain.
I used to be in the knitting world. I managed a knit shop. I am published in the book “101 Designer One Skein Wonders”. I have written countless patterns. Blah, blah, blah. Then one day I injured my shoulder, while crocheting a giant project no less, and was from then on unable to knit more than about 30 minutes at a time. God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself – halt my incessant need to produce!
My sweet husband, realizing I needed a creative outlet, bought me a series of painting classes. That was in 2008. I have been learning a new skill ever since. Going from the “top of your game” in one creative field to “newbie” in another was frustrating, to say the least.
When I discovered art quilting, it seemed a perfect blend of art and fabric – my other love. I started my own blog on creative quilt things. I posted 5 days a week. I did gain readership. “I’m doing it” I would think. But of late, I have discovered that the blog has indeed become a master. As the fall came and I got back into painting daily, there wasn’t the time to produce quilted items for the blog. Disappoint my readers? Horrors. I felt tugged in 2 directions – the one to please readers and be instantly approved, or the other which was painting in my studio – no instant applause. Artworks are not created every day…and it’s definitely a process thing!
Everyone has a desire for acceptance and I believe that satisfying that desire needs to come from within, not from the praise of others. God created me to be exactly as I am and it is not a mistake. He has accepted me; why do I doubt Him?
So dear readers, I will post about all things creative in which I’m currently involved. That will be a broader spectrum than just quilting.
And I begin to experience the peace…
*Melody Johnson, quilt artist, wrote a very personal note about herself on her blog and I am quoting the parts that pertain to me here with permission. (Here is the original post by Melody Johnson.)